2004-01-27 - 10:23 a.m.
maybe there isnt a place after all.
fuck fuck fuck.
i hate snow.
oh yes oh yes i do.
so what have i been doing for last 2 days?
interpretive art.
me and liz do all this crazy art and poem stuff. for example - we race to see who can write a hiku the fastest (or at least get done in two minutes), or we'll give each other topics, write a poem, and after ten minutes we'll call each other back. tons of fun. and also we'll paint songs, normally something corporate (theres just something about listening to something corporate through your headphones to block out the yelling...).
yesssir life is as standard, static, and still as ever. i keep waiting for something wonderful to happen and then i wait some more. i think ive been waiting for like 3 years now?
i wish it was summer. then i could hang out with my friends, get away from our house, lay out and watch the stars, or ride my bike to kassi's house. i could get a job and stop feeling so lazy.
snow day. again. its not that i want to go to school. its that home is boring. and im home alone with my brother. he's kinda funny about the stuff he does in the snow. it makes me laugh, which is good because we really don't get along.
i just keep looking out the window and thinking damn the snow. i like it when it rains during the summer. and you can feel it. the air gets damper and you can smell it. i look out over the feild next to my house and the wind picks up. and then just delicately the rain starts to fall, just a little, and then it gets heavier...till your whole face it wet and your hair is in your eyes. you fling yourself on the wet grass, just lying there looking up at the gray clouds but they aren't harsh. theyre forgiving and soft.
theres some place out there i know. i know there has to be. where i can be totally happy. even if sometimes its winter.
you know maybe it isn't a place after all. maybe its someone.
